Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Not with a bang, but a whimper....


So, there I am, nuking broccoli for dinner. It's something I do very often. Broccoli is a staple at our house. We eat it cooked, raw, in the dark, on a train, at our work and on a plane. Thanks, Sam-I-am.

Then, all I hear is 'Pzzzzzzzzt' and the lights go off inside our micro-onde.

Has the power gone out? No. Lights are still on in the house. Let me try re-booting. Unplug. Replug. No dice.

Oh no.

She's dead, Jim.

After 20 years, my cheap $150 microwave has officially bitten the dust. So now we gotta find a new one.

Actually, I'm not griping. This is not a hard task for us because J and I have found probably the best kept secret in Toronto.

Look way up. That's it... way, way up. Past Finch, south of Steeles on the west side. Because there, on Yonge St., is a little appliance store called County Appliances. It's so small, you can easily miss it even though it's covered from door to window frame in appliance adverts.

Once in, you'll feel like you're in a Rare Bookstore. It's cozy, to say the least, and very dusty but the staff are amazing. They know appliances and appliance manufacturers like the backs of their hands. They give honest advice and aren't afraid to tell you which companies do NOT produce the best product. They'll look beyond their selection to find you the right appliance and, deity of your choice rain blessings upon them, they'll even hire people to take apart an appliance and re-assemble it in your basement because your stairway measures a mere 20" across and no known washing machine or dryer is less than 22" across.

Every time we go there, those lovely people chat us up. Not over-chipper, no commissions, just nice, friendly, knowledgeable service.

They don't have a web site and they don't advertise in print or media. They rely on word of mouth. ( They're that good.)

We found a microwave, no problem. It'll be here in two days. Installation no problem and no exorbitant fees.

County, we love you.

We're telling everybody.

Now, everybody, tell your friends.

Friday, September 29, 2006

I'm liking this!



This is me guys:

III - The Empress 94%
XIX: The Sun 69%
XI: Justice 69%
II - The High Priestess 63%
VI: The Lovers 63%
XVI: The Tower 56%
VIII - Strength 56%
I - Magician 56%
XIII: Death 50%
0 - The Fool 44%
X - Wheel of Fortune 44%
IV - The Emperor 38%
XV: The Devil 25%

You scored as III - The Empress.

The Empress is a maternal symbol. She is the mother figure who loves, nurtures and protects. She will protect you, she will always be there when you are in trouble. When you fall over and graze your knee, the Empress will kiss it better. Yet she is not a weak figure. Her compassion is strength. If her children are threatened she will stop at nothing to protect them. If well aspected in a Tarot spread, the Empress can symbolise security, protection and unconditional love. If badly aspected it can represent over-protectiveness, fear of risk taking and refusal to face the real world.

Yup, that's me.

Check this out!

Friday, September 15, 2006

Not just another pretty face....

This thoughtful piece of art on the left, called Self Portrait April, was painted by Viggo Mortensen.

I'm sure you all know him as Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings but let me tell you: this man is not just another pretty face! He's a renaissance man in the true sense of the word.

He speaks several languages, including Spanish, fluently. He's a respected artist as well as being a very talented photographer (as the photo below demonstrates) and poet.

To cap it off, he's extremely friendly and gracious.

AND (allow me to drool just a wee bit here....) I GOT TO SEE HIM IN PERSON!!!!!

J gets tickets to the Toronto International Film Fest each year. A book of ten. He goes to 9 movies and I go to 1.

This year, I chose Alatriste.

For a number of reasons.

First, yes, because ever since seeing Viggo talk politics and art with Charlie Rose on PBS, I have been a fan.
Viggo's a lefty, politically. Yay. He genuinely wants to make the world a better place by viewing it as a community that can provide for all as opposed to seeing it as a competition to see who dies with the most toys.

Second, it doesn't hurt that he ain't hard on the eyes!

Thirdly, I am a huge fan of Dumas and his style of writing.(This statement has relevance... keep reading.)

And lastly, because I'm a sucker for period pieces. Especially ones involving sword fights....

Line ups are long in time and people at the Fest... It helps to have company. I lined up with some amazing friends. One, P, who edits her own music videos and is a master at her art. Her husband, D, who graciously held our place in line for 2 hours while we grabbed the quickest sushi dinner you've ever seen. And a fantastic new friend, S, who, to my delight, shares my love of Canadian Theatre and my lust for many a British Actor (male and female... I believe finding one's soul mate is not dependent on gender).

What a night!

P has tuchas. Bringing along a book of Viggo's Poetry and Art, she had the chutzpah to join the throng on the red carpet and secure an autograph. She has my undying respect for that.

My one chance to get an autograph from an actor I really respected resulted in my going catatonic and drooling. My traveling companion at that function gently released the play program from my hand and offered it to the object of my respect saying "Uhm, she likes you. Would you mind signing her program? Thanks"

We sat in the front row (my head hurts this morning because I strained my eyes being so close to the screen) and when the mike was passed around for the introduction to the movie, the director and cast, very clearly shy of using their stilted English, handed it to Viggo who spoke very warmly of his fellow cast members and the director but said nothing of himself.

Now, of course, I'm biased. But I'm critical enough to know when a movie is poorly done. Not so here.

The entire cast was amazing. Everyone gave riveting performances.

The story very clearly owes most of it's inspiration to Alexandre Dumas (pere). As I'm sure you know, Alatriste is series of books by Arturo Perez-Reverte, author of the extremely successful Club Dumas (Yup, I 'd say he's a fan). The similarities to characters and plot lines from The Three Musketeers are hard to ignore but you never stop enjoying this dramatic romp through 17th century Spain.

And, lovely, sweet, talented Viggo entered the theatre late because he was making sure to sign as many autographs as possible.

Sigh.

Slurp.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

In the wee small hours of the morning....

Gonna vent. Will write good stuff in a couple days, I promise, but for now, gonna vent.

A couple of weeks ago, M had the wonderful opportunity to go to a picnic with my Mom. He came back exhausted and hot, but happy. There had been lots of fun games, lots of prizes and the kind of food that makes 5 year olds smile: pizza and Kentucky Duck. He'd had a grand time.

Later that evening, though, we discovered that M's forehead was as hot as Hades. You coulda roasted marshmallows over that sucker, poor kid. My first thought was that Mom had let M dehydrate. Easy to do with an ecstatic 5 year old... but no, Mom kept him covered, hydrated and healthy. What we found out the following day was that M had a wicked case of Strep Throat.

Into sick-mode goes the entire house. No sleep, lots of liquids, regular Tempra at regular intervals and washing hands constantly.

Nothing we can't handle. Sick happens, nu?

J and I are very familiar with this routine and made sure we were careful about our health. Not only because we just didn't want to be sick, but also because we were heading to a cottage that my parent's had rented in Coboconk for 4 days the following Wednesday. Coboconk is quaint and charming. Known for the local diner called The Patty House: World famous in Coboconk! as the sign proclaims. Also known for having Ontario's smallest jail, still... not a place you can find good emergency services.

You see what's coming?

On the drive up to the cottage, no less, J starts to get a fever. A bad one. His breathing is noticeably more rapid. I had taken the precaution of getting a script from a Medvisit Doctor in case I came down with Strep... so... perfect. We stop in Brooklyn, Ontario and try to fill it. Turns out, the @#&%$!!! Medvisit Doctor has prescribed something for me to which I'm allergic. In spite of my repeating manifold times what my allergies were!!! So. This lovely small town pharmacist is taking her time explaining to me how dangerous this potentially is and how unsure she is as to whether to fill the script. I can't tell her the medication will be used for someone else... then she won't fill it at all. Like a drug addict, I'm tapping my toes impatiently trying to convince her that I'll take the risk... just fill the damn thing!! I gotta sick man in the car, honey, and two more hours of driving ahead of us before I can get him into a bed... hurry the fuck up!

Poor, sweet J spent pretty much the entire time at the cottage in bed.

Plus, the antibiotic didn't work because, as it turned out, he didn't have Strep... he had Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. Where that came from , who knows. It was something we discovered days after our return to the city. Something that is also very contagious for the entire time it is present in it's victim.

This household has been disease free for 1 day now but I'm still washing my hands like Lady Macbeth.

And now, summer is officially over and M begins school in 2 days so life gets...more hectic???

Oy.

Monday, August 14, 2006

A little something after a LOOOONG weekend....

Yup. J and I had to attend a family wedding last night.

It's been a long time since I've sat down with my family and, unfortunately, I was brutally reminded why last night.

It's the typical Jewish wedding complete with Chupa and Hora. The Bride and Groom are lovely, young, exceedingly gracious and full of impatience to begin their new lives.... The Groom's friends, slap each other on the back laughing loudly at memories of times gone by (usually things that happened a mere month or so ago). The Bride's friends, looking like cookie cutter images of one another, fuss over the Bride's meringue dress and coiffed hair. The family take every opportunity to enjoy the mediocre quality food and dance to the poor schleps who have been hired to play covers of bad 80's disco (that's redundant, isn't it... Sorry) during the meal.

Now there's an extremely thankless job, if you ask me, to watch other people eat while you try in vain to amuse them and then watch as a phenomenal number of them display their lack of rhythm.

My young cousins, the ones actually getting married, were lovely, gracious and happy. Mazeltov to them both.

The people J and I sat with... That's another story. My Uncles and Aunts... People I do not particularly get along with. They can be among the rudest, loudest and shallowest people in the room. My mom was clearly the black sheep of the family and for that I am eternally grateful. I tend to get very quiet in their presence and, I suspect, they believe I'm being aloof. I'm not trying to be aloof. I just have nothing to say to them. My small talk sucks and there's no chance of entering more profound conversation since we hold diametrically opposed political views. (When this has been attempted, I assure you, tempers flared.)

My mom is currently dealing with a not-so-little disagreement that has been ravaging these family relationships for the past 4 years. I know the details and I'm afraid, in this instance I've decided not to be the peacekeeper that she is. I told her that if one of them said just one little insensitive thing last night, my plan was to verbally annihilate them. Though I'm younger than the youngest Uncle by 11 years, I usually behave like the grownup and keep my opinions to myself... Not any more. The behaviours last night, though quiet (for a change), exemplified why I don't choose to hang out with my family. What wasn't spoken was often louder and more in your face than what was. While I'm thankful that they kept their mean spirited comments to themselves, rendering my little plan for open verbal hunting unnecessary, it was still rather astonishing to see little civilities ignored. It was so silly (Truly there was no better word for it... Silly)! My Uncle E snubbed my simple 'hello' and then darted me a look of anger when my Father moved to sit beside me gently pushing aside my Aunt L, E's wife. I feigned astonishment. Such a small thing... Such powers of offence.

It's true. You can't pick your family. You can, however, choose who you hang out with. Thank the deity of your choice for that.

J and I sat quietly, mused to ourselves about the Barnum and Bailey nature of the event, ate, and then made a quiet and quick escape.


I really needed something light this morning. Thank you immensely, P, for the lovely pick me up from your Blog...

Go here and look through random quotes until you find 5 that you think reflect who you are or what you believe. Repost in your journal and see if anyone else wants to play. (You may need to refresh a few times to find enough.)

Here are mine, guys (Remember that they may be tempered by how I'm feeling about last night's events):


It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
Andy Rooney (1919 - )

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
Margaret Thatcher (1925 - )

I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
Jules Renard (1864 - 1910)

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964)

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Oh Cabana Boy! Another Martini please....

Recently, I've made a few new friends.

M has some friends at school with really cool Mommies who have been very sweet and invited me into their homes and lives.

Three of us: me, O and E as well as all our kids (4 boys under 6 years old) went up to Washago to E's cottage for three days of rustic living and fun.

While I have to admit that I was very, no, make that extremely trepidatious about living without running water with two other women who barely know me and four boys who don't yet know how to clean their own tushies, I gotta say, Goddamn! What a good time.

For the whole 3 days the temperature hovered in the high 30's ( that's celsius, folks) with a humidex that made it feel like the high 40's. Hell, on Tuesday the temperature was 42 with a humidex of 50. We sweated profusely. We swam in lake Couchuching till we turned into raisins. We hugged and alternately yelled collectively at all our kids and we ate like royalty (Thanks to O, our russian goddess extraordinaire in all things... especially as a chef).

But mostly we talked.

About families, food, life, sex... everything. Three wonderful nights of discovery and bonding. I haven't done that since High School. These wonderful, intelligent women made me smile, cry and laugh. All of which became necessary as the trip progressed and all the boys got crankier and more tired....

Last night, after O and I had returned to the city with 3 of the boys in tow, E had to contend with one of the most severe storms cottage country (and, indeed, Toronto) has ever seen. In that small cottage made by her brother-in-law of pine from the area, E watched as a huge tree got struck by lightening and landed on her car. Thankfully, she and her son had just gotten out of the vehicle and were safe. This morning, after spending an hour sawing off the offending branch, she felt comfortable enough to call me for backup. She's a tough cookie, E, and she handled the situation brilliantly. Not sure I could have been as calm. Especially since she had to drive that busted car 2 hours in the solid rain all the way back to Toronto with her son and a very nervous, panting golden retreiver named Maisie.

I feel honoured.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Why buy the cow...?

Every morning, J and I have a routine that we follow.

J wakes up first, takes the Wee Monster to do his morning pish and then sends Wee Monster in to our room to wake me up bright and early at 7am. Let me tell you, there's no better alarm clock than an eager-to-play five year old. No snooze button there, Buddy. You also can't beat the hugs....

I then make the beds, pick out Mace's outfit for the day and lay it out for him to put on. J brews coffee for us and makes breaky for all.

I make sure all Mace's necessities are packed in his bag and ready to go to Camp or School and J checks the front porch for the inevitable newspaper that's waiting there.

Thing is, we don't pay for our newspaper. We don't want a daily. We don't get around to reading it so J and I thought about it and both decided we'd save a few trees and NOT subscribe to a daily paper.

The Toronto Star apparently doesn't or can't believe that we don't want a paper everyday and they keep sending it to us anyway. Whenever they call and ask us (and it's frequent, those calls) if we'd like to get their paper on a daily basis we tell them: We don't want a daily, we get (and pay for) the weekend edition, thank you, and could you please take us off the free subscription list. Really. Please? They say OK. We are without the paper for a week or two and then SURPRISE! It's back.

What I'm wondering is... Where's the incentive to pay? We get a free daily paper whether we want it or not.... Would they like us to pay to NOT deliver? That I'd consider....

Saturday, July 15, 2006

This Just In....



Cherry Beach Update: J and I are down 30lbs each! Losing at a rate of about 2 lbs a week right now. Nice and safe.YAY! Still eating and happy!



Soccer: Zizou, I still wish you hadn't headbutted Materazzi, Big Guy. BUT I also think Materazzi needs to sit on the stairs and think about what he did. Parenting 101 says both kids who lash out, physically and verbally, have to have a Time Out on the stairs ( aka: You're off the pitch for a few games there, Bucko!). Especially because Materazzi was clearly looking to provoke the response he got and get rid of the biggest threat from the pitch. No TV for a week and no dessert either for you, Materazzi!

Damn! Zizou's cute!

Shame on you, Marco!

'Kay.

I'm done.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Zizou, WHY?!?!?!!!

First, let me start by congratulating Italy. What a fine game they played! And they really deserved to win. They play a tight game. Grosso, Cannavaro and Buffon have my undying loyalty (not just because they play beautifully but also because they are, let's face it, not so hard on the eyes....) Gigi, should you ever read this poorly written blog, next time you find yourself in Toronto, the drinks are on me, honey. Fabulous goal tending. Amazing.

Now. I'm gonna soapbox.

The person I've been most impressed with in all of this World Cup Mania has been Zinedine Zidane. I really believe that the reason that France made it to the finals was because of him. He's a strong player: wise and fast as well as a damn good penalty kicker. (Forgive me if I'm wrong here. I am after all new to this soccer thing, but Zidane kept cleaning up after Ribery... How did Frank make the team? Thank Poop they kept sending in Govou instead! )

So. WHAT THE HELL????? WHAT WAS WITH THE HEAD BUTT?????

In a game that had most players helping players of the opposing teams up from fouls and kicks and spills...What could possibly have been said to Zidane to make him give up his last game on the field, the last game of his career, for God's sake, in such a disgraceful way?

Was it the arm Materazzi had around his waist to hinder his movement? Hard to believe he would give up playing the World Cup simply for a potential foul....

Speaking as someone who's had a few nasty things uttered in her direction (a neighbour from my childhood who earned the nick-name The Nazi stands out in memory), ya just don't do it! Whatever was said, you move right on past it and play your guts out. You don't descend to the level of the aggressor.

What a shame.

Even 5 year old Mace talked about the player who had to sit on the stairs for a time-out to cool off....

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Alright Mr. Bean. I get it....

I'm not a sports fan. I'm not even ashamed that as a Canadian, I have absolutely no idea how Hockey is played. I have no interest in it.

You know those 'get to know you' email quizzes? When I get to the ' Favourite sport to watch?' question, I usually answer Masterpiece Theatre.

But, damn! I'm getting into this soccer thing. ( I apologize if you're European and reading this... I'd call it Footy but I just don't want it confused with American Football....)

J and I have been watching the World Cup and MY GOD it's exciting! I loved watching the Swiss face off against the Ukrainians. Both teams showed immense sportsmanship and skill. And when we watched the Italian Team face off against the Ukrainians...I had never seen footwork that fancy. Watching the Italians play was like watching the late Greg Hines tap his way across Broadway!

The Portugal/England quarter final game was a nail biter! The British team and fans were so upset at the end, but really, it was an amazing performance and with only 10 players on the field for most of it, they should be really, really proud. I have to admit I was cheering for both sides on that one. My anglophile nature wanted Britain to win but I live in a Portuguese neighbourhood and, I gotta tell you, I love listening to the partying ( which is happening even as I write this!)

Next up, Brazil and France. I've got divided loyalties on that one too. But I know I'll enjoy the match whichever way it goes....

Friday, June 23, 2006

Mmmmwaahhh!

Just wishing everyone a Big Happy Pride Week! It's the end (sorry I didn't do this sooner) and, I believe, the parade is tomorrow.

HAPPY PRIDE WEEK!!!

From Neats, Welt and Mace!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I Must've Made a Wrong Turn at Bora Bora...

I have a thing about Pirate Stories.

I like'em.

I like to read'em. Just for myself but also to M at bedtime.

The book on the right is one of my favourites right now. I highly recommend it (obviously). Great read for kids AND for parents who happen to like Pirate Stories!

So, M has a subscription to Chickadee (a kid's magazine) and every summer they put out this little Summer Adventures Edition that has all sorts of word games and crosswords and jokes.
This year, they've included a 'Find Your Pirate Name' and I had to share.

You see, apparently, my full name is Jack Fearful Horrible Swashbuckler. Arrrrr.

My sweet M's full name is Dirty Scurvy Smelly Swashbuckler Cannon. (This I find very apropos. You'll know what I mean if you've ever washed a kid after a day at the playground)

And, my lovely J is Bad Captain Cannon. Arrr!

Oh, and my Grandfather is Tinkerbell Treasure. I'm not so sure he'd be good with that one... so, SHHHHHH! Don't tell him.

Gotta love it.

So I thought I'd share. I apologize to Chickadee for spreading the joy without official permission but this was to cute to ignore. Remember, it's meant for 4-6 yr olds....

Go ahead, guys.

Find your inner Pirate:

Use the first letter of your first name to find your pirate first name. Then use the first letter of your last name to find your pirate last name.

FIRST NAMES

A - STINKY
B - SMELLY
C - HORRIBLE
D - YO-HO-HO
E - CAPTAIN
F - JOLLY
G - PATCHES
H - TINKERBELL
I - AWFUL
J - BAD
K - MEAN
L - NO GOOD
M - DIRTY
N - JACK
O - AHOY
P - AYE AYE!
Q - PIRATE
R - DREADFUL
S - FEARFUL
T - BLIMEY
U - MATEY
V - DAGGER
W - SCURVY
X - SHIPWRECK
Y - SILLY
Z - CRABBY

LAST NAMES

A - SHIPSHAPE
B - PLANK
C - TREASURE
D - PARROT
E - SHIP
F - BEARD
G - LOOKOUT
H - MAROON
I - SAIL
J - SWAB
K - ANCHOR
L - GRUB
M - SWASHBUCKLER
N - SHIVER ME TIMBERS!
O - LANDLUBBER
P - SCALLYWAG
Q - SWAB
R - ISLAND
S - BATTLE
T - CANNON
U - COMPASS
V - MONEY
W - GOLD
X - SWORD
Y - STINKY
Z - SURLY

With love, you scurvy landlubbers!

Jack Swashbuckler.

Photo courtesy of Amazon.com

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Mom Never Told Me There'd Be Days Like This....

Yesterday, whilst M, J and I were having a lovely breakfast together, M asked how flowers reproduce.

Well....

We've already explained procreation to the little guy. I still have my copy of 'Where Did I Come From' by Peter Mayle. Still a classic, if you ask me, even though a few of the facts about pregnancy are a little out of date eg. You can hear the fetal heartbeat well before the second trimester using one of those special stethosocopes. We read it to M as a bedtime story often enough. He loves the line " It's a big day for bald headed babies!" Cracks up every time he hears it. Alliteration, ya know. So, basically, what I'm saying here is M understands the basics of sex.

Back to the flower thing... We used human sex as the example to explain the Birds and the Bees.

Yup. You read me right.

Gotta laugh.

Photo courtesy of PD Photo.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Yip Yip Yip Uhuh Uhuh

Everybody remember these guys? Click here, remember and have a laugh!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

The Cherry Beach Diet or Wide-eyed at the World of Weight Loss

So, we're into week two of the South Beach Diet and although we're feeling no pain, we're not exactly following the rules either.

Have I mentioned that I'm a cynical person?

I did my research. I always do.

South Beach has some drawbacks. ( Nothing we weren't expecting.) You can't remove an entire Food Group (Breads and Cereals) and increase another (Meat and Dairy) from you're diet and not have some consequences. And although Dr. A tells you that you're going to re-introduce, ahem, 'good' carbs into the diet after two weeks, one wonders why they have to be removed in the first place. Removing all forms of grain means the weight loss during those first two weeks is water, not fat. So we haven't taken our whole grain bread and cereal out of our diet.
BUT. That being said, J and I have learnt some good things from Dr. A. Namely portion control, the reduction of sugar and a 20 min workout whenever possible. Mostly common sense, that, but when you have a blue print of sorts it makes it easier to put into practice.

Dr A. also advocates removing all fruit from your diet for two weeks.

Well. Hello. My name is Neatfreak and I am a fruit junkie. I think fruit is important in a diet. Lots of vitamins and minerals in them. And they're yummy too!!! BUT they also contain quite a bit of fructose. Sugar is sugar and I think, perhaps, we were consuming too much. So we've reduced (not eliminated) our fruit, increased our green and leafy veg lots and increased our protein just a bit. ( I'd rather stay off of Statin drugs if I can, thank you Dr. A!)

So, it's not the 'South Beach' Diet per se but rather, Toronto's own version. Let's call it 'The Cherry Beach' Diet.

Oh. And it's working wonderfully. J and I have already lost a few lbs and we don't feel hungry or deprived.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I'm not alone!

Secretly, I must be a blonde.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Mace Windu's Lego Creations, Episode 3, the Revenge


Monster Truck
It smashes over cars and breaks them. It bumps cars out of it's way. BUT he is actually a really nice guy. He only bumps into other trucks and cars because he has such big wheels. He also skids around corners very well ( but he still obeys the law... Mace wants to stress that he's a good guy.)

Dr. W or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Mesclun Greens...


Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a very cynical being. Don't know if that's due to being the daughter of a Philosophy Professor and a Lawyer or if it's just innate to my personality. Whatever. I am a VERY cynical person. So when my Mom went on another diet, I didn't have much hope for it's success. My Mom has an iron will, don't get me wrong. She's a strong but extremely loving person. But I look at diets the way one would look at being tortured in a third world country: By the third day, no matter how strong you are, you break.

Mom's on year two of the South Beach Diet and doing fine, thank you.

I'm a large woman. My Grandmother was large too. And for a while, my Mom, though frustrated about it, was large as well. Genetics, I figure, played a part in my shape. I am a logical, reason-centered person. Except when sleep deprived... and as a mom, myself, that tends to happen rather more frequently that I would like these days. Nevertheless.... I believe in the scientific method. PLUS I have worked in the book industry long enough to know how many diet books penned by doctors come out each year and how many are refuted within months by other, just as reputable, doctors. In short, I just don't trust'em. No sir.

Have I mentioned that Mom's on year two successfully, thank you? Well she is.

OK, so I'm gonna concede this one. Where once, J and I would not, would not in a box , would not, would not with a fox, now we are going to try it. Look out low-fat dairy products, here we come.

We'll let you know how it goes....

Photo Courtesy of PDPhoto.org

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Fiasco

So on Saturday we went to Doors Open Toronto, for the first time ever. A friend (the Mom of one of M's school chums) told us they were planning to go to the Cadbury chocolate factory, and would we like to join them? Of course we said yes; kids, chocolate, cool old architecture? How could we go wrong?

So, it's a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and we head down to the factory. It was about 1:15, and we expected the line to be pretty huge. And it was. Thankfully, parking was not a problem, for which I am very grateful. We got in line, and a few minutes later, M's friend and his family showed up. The kids were happy just to be together, never mind the factory. Which is good, because we were in line for an hour before we actually got to go in. But when it was finally our turn, the kids were cheering and whooping with joy. And then we went in.

So here's the scene (are we all wearing our imagination caps?): you're in the front foyer, and there's a person there to greet you and tell you about the building. Then you see the map, and after a very brief perusal realize that there are, including the foyer where you are now standing, FOUR THINGS LISTED ON THE MAP. They are:
  • A (two-room) museum, where you can see some really old chocolate paraphenalia, and get to visit what was, until recently, the president's office. There are many relics placed around the office, few or none of which were protected, which left the poor soul manning the office constantly having to ask everyone not to touch anything.
  • A sort of meeting room with a small raised stage where they were giving lectures about the chocolate making process. I don't know about you, but while M would be thrilled to WATCH chocolate being made, there ain't no way he's going to sit still and listen to someone talk about it
  • The store. Ah, the store. The store, you see, isn't usually open to the public. It isn't even open to employees. The only time the company opens it is for school tours. Now compare the size of your average class tour to the literally thousands of people coming to see the factory on that one day, and you begin to see the next logistical nightmare looming. Add to that all the people who had been standing outside in line for so long, only to discover there was nothing actually to SEE, and who, in frustration, decided that, at the very least, they were going to buy some chocolate thank you very much, and you have a recipe for, well, a mess. So they could only let people into the store in small groups. And the store only had one cash register. And the two people working the cash were both volunteers, and while I have nothing but admiration for their ability to remain cheery in such a situation, it was obvious they did not have much, if any, retail experience. So, believe it or not, we were actually in line in the store longer than we were in line outside to get in. Luckily for the kids, the one thing the store did have was a large electric train table right smack dab in the middle of the store. So that kept them from going completely insane with still more waiting.
Oh, and the air conditioning had not yet been turned on. Of course.

So, by the time we got out of there, we were very relieved to get out of there. We had seen nothing of the factory floor or got to see how chocolate was made; we didn't get to see barely any of the old architecture of the building; heck, they didn't even tell us the Caramilk secret! And then, to top it all off, as we're trying to drive home in what has become a very hot day, we hit a protest march coming along Bloor. At that point, we began to think some higher power was trying to tell us something.

I hope the Cadbury folks learn from their mistakes this year; I appreciate that it's the first year, and things are going to go wrong. But if the factory is open again next year, let someone else go first and tell you if things have in fact improved.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Tee Many Martoonies


T came over for dinner and a schluff last night ( Schluff= kipped at mine on the guest bed). I LOVE when T comes over for a tipple, talk and schluff. We ordered in Chinese, I had a glass of red, he had a glass of white and we talked into the wee hours of the morning. About everything. Life, love, work, kids ('cause although T doesn't have kids, he has a remarkable understanding of parents and parenthood.)

But man, I'm in pain today.

One glass. One glass red. Up until 1 am.

Ouchie.

When the hell did that happen? I remember up all night, several glasses of red and no pain. Was that me? Maybe I'm thinking of Holly Golightly. No, wait. I'm fatter. That was me up all night. Am I old already? When the poop did that happen?

Bum and Trotsky.

Tonight, bedtime at 9, no CSI. Get some sleep and do the food shopping tomorrow. Yup. That sounds wonderful. Sleep and food. Goodstuff.

Wonder when T will be ready for another early nighter and single glass booze....

Photo courtesy of istockphoto